By Yashna Paliya, Batch of 2017
Caricature by Nishtha Jain, Batch of 2018
The ONE thing you don’t want, you don’t NEED. Liking someone in class. Classes are disrupted, stalker mode is on, and your friends are the absolute worst.
There is a plus though; your attendance is always high!
HIM: Hi!
Oh dear Lord. His beautiful face! I could just *censored for the faint hearted*
Me: Heeeeey!
Pull it together. This is a professional college, ma’am. Irrespective of however cute your colleagues are, maintain one arm distance. Heh, Harry Potter references, damn. No. Remember, PHYSICS LAB.
No, DO NOT look at him. Yes, attendance. Focus on attendance. Who is that? Is he even in MY class? My god, I said don’t look THAT way..too late. His hair is so perfect. I wonder what shampoo he uses. Maybe it’s the same as me. Oh, we’re SOUL MATES. He probably doesn’t know it yet. His eyes are sooo pretty..
“ROLL NUMBER ONE FIFTY EIGHT!”
Me: Uh..yes sir!
I need to not be so stalker-ish. Just be myself. My awesome self. Yeah, that’ll show him. I’ll get my moves on. Here he is. Time to get this experiment done!
HIM: Have you written the file?
Wait, what? I didn’t even hear what he said. Maybe if you aren’t so completely distracted, you MIGHT JUST. I’ll just say something innocuous.
Me: Haha, I know.
HIM: Um, your file?
Ohhhh FILE! Riiight. This is so embarrassing. I just want to bury myself in one of these ballistic galvanometers and DIE.
Me: Right. Here.
WHHHY? Why me? RIP all the hopes and dreams that I ever had of true love. I’ll just finish my experiment like a good engineer.
So I am going to do this experiment. Get these wires connected like a bawws. I am such a competent engineer. My dog will be proud.
Look at those hands. Imagine the possibilities..FOCUS!..of all the ammeters they can connect.
HIM: Oh, look! It’s working.
Me: Science, bitch!
What did I say about bad jokes? And references of shows you HAVEN’T WATCHED! Just brilliant.
HIM: Hahaha, Pinkman yo.
Who is Pinkman? Is that joke about him? Wait at least he thinks I am funny. Self five! You go, gurrl.
HIM: Who is your favourite character? I love Walter.
Me: Yeah…uh…Pinkman.
And kids, this is why you shouldn’t lie.